I failed and I’m still stressed.

My 2023 New Year’s resolution was to prioritize my mental health and say no to anything that would cause me too much stress. My 2023 reality, however, was the opposite. I still agreed to new, complicated work projects. I still found myself fighting battles I didn’t start. And I still took on more responsibilities than time allowed. So yes, I failed at my resolution. I’m still stressed and anxious and life still feels chaotic.

But why did I fail? Easy. Because I can’t be irresponsible!

This year I lost a client due to Read More

All’s well that ends well. Or so they say. Specifically, it was Shakespeare who said that, but was he right? After all, he was a writer of fiction.

My New Year’s resolution for 2022 was to trust that things will be ok. Well, things ended ok, so…success? It sure doesn’t feel like it. I suppose I should just be glad things worked out, and I am, but if I have to kick, scream, and claw my way to “ok”, are things really ok? Things in 2022 ended well, but all isn’t well as Shakespeare led me to believe it would be.

This year I had some great successes, but the p Read More

It’s ironic that my New Year’s resolution for 2021 was to embrace the different-ness since 2021 was not different. It was more of the 2020 chaos, insanity, disappointment and devastation. More of the same, not different.

2021: Repetitive absurdity…inexplicably. As if we’d collectively learned nothing from 2020, or recent years, or all of history, actually.

Throughout history, we’ve experienced many crises, tragedies, social justice movements, advancements, regressions, successes and failures. Some brought great pride and unity. Others brought shame and lead to Read More

Obviously, 2020 was terrible. It was a year full of chaos, pain, and loss.

But also a year of togetherness, community, and innovation.

The year no one will ever forget, yet everyone wants to forget. The year of togetherness yet severe division. The year of stunned silence and anguished screams. Where families, friends, acquaintances, and strangers all shared in a collective pain yet were separated by a vast canyon of differing views that created a seemingly insurmountable divide between them. 2020 brought people together while simultaneously tearing them apart.

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It’s the end of the decade – let the obligatory recaps of the past and promises for the future commence! Except for me…I’m not doing that.

I planned to do just that. I would make a list of each New Year’s Resolution from the past decade, I decided, and assess whether or not I accomplished each resolution, starting with last year. (Spoiler alert: I did not.)

Yes, I failed. I already knew that. I didn’t accomplish much of anything this year. I’m still living in a place I don’t like, my career is still stalled, and, in fact, this year I made the least amoun Read More

I drove through a blizzard this year. The snow fell harder and faster the farther I drove until everything was blanketed in deep snow. My car slid off the road, and I smashed my head against the window rendering myself unconscious.

I have no memory of it, however, and there’s no record of any of that happening. But now, thinking back, that must have been the moment.

What I remember is getting up extremely early to drive through a snow storm and being extremely late (due to the aforementioned blizzard) to a seminar I was attending. I arrived cold and annoyed, but with a fully Read More

I am a fighter. I fight for what’s right and fair. When someone says, “Life isn’t fair,” my response is, “But it should be.” And I fight to make it that way. I don’t believe I deserve more than anyone else. I’m not more special or more worthy than they are… but they’re not more special or more worthy than I am either. We are all equal, and we all deserve to be treated with the same respect. When that doesn’t happen, it causes me great anguish, and thus describes my 2017.

I spent so much time and effort this year fighting. Fighting for what’s right. Fighting fo Read More

Have you ever had so many crazy things happen that your brain tells you it can’t be real? Or has someone ever come into your life who has such a different view on things that it makes you question your own perception of reality? That was my 2016.

I’ve always thought of myself as very level-headed. Not too optimistic. Not too pessimistic. I’m realistic. Like Goldilocks, I found what’s “just right”. I like to stay right in the middle where I have the best view of the world and can clearly see all sides. But, from my position grounded firmly in the center of reality, what if Read More

Oh, 2015, I had such high hopes for you. And then life happened.

This year, after more than a decade in a career that I hate, I finally recognized what has been staring me in the face my whole life: my perfect career. Indescribable relief and joy! Finally there was hope for happiness.

I started working toward my new career. Then I stopped, or paused, in order to make money to finance it and support my life. Big mistake. One I’ll regret forever. Everything inside of me, every bone in my body, was telling me not to do it, but I ignored that. I thought I was doing the right thi Read More

Let’s recap the past year in my life:

I closed my business. Defeat. I tried to figure out what to do next. Hopelessness. I considered moving to a new city for a fresh start. Desperation. I decided to stay in the same city to prove that I could be successful there. Stress. I tried to figure out what to do next. Depression. I went back to my previous career for some temporary consulting jobs. Shame. I’m still trying to figure out what to do next. Confusion.

There seems to be a common theme in my life recently. I don’t know what to do, so I settle for “good enough”.

I Read More